Because guyz make mistakes, too.

3/16/09

Suggestion #1: Top 12 No No's in Conversation

Who needs a top 10 when I got a top 12? Here are a few suggestions of what not to say to a girl that you are starting a relationship with. As always, do as you wish.

12. "So I bought you dinner, I guess you owe me that kiss."
If you wanted a paid escort, you should have gone to Vegas. Buying a girl soup and salad at Olive Garden doesn't entitle you to anything. Plus, if you're going to kiss a girl, don't ask her in a joking way. Such an awkward icebreaker will surely ruin the moment.

11. "How would you feel about going on a date with me?"
Is this a survey or an invitation? Be up front, because a girl may be more honest when you ask about her feelings, whereas a simple "Would you like to go on a date with me," may yield more positive results if she's feeling charitable.

10. "How many guys have you kissed?"
Unnecessary question. If its more than 10, she's going to lie anyway.

9. "Promise, you're not mad?"
If you have to ask this question, you have done something wrong, and she is mad. At this point, you should probably just apologize profusely, give her some chocolates, and back away slowly. Any sudden movements might incur the wrath that is comparable to a mother bear protecting her cubs.

8. "Whatever you want is fine with me."
When a girl hears this, what she's really hearing is, "I don't really care at all, this is stupid." Just be honest about what you want or what you want to do so that she doesn't feel like you don't want to be there.

7. “What did you do to your hair?”
This roughly translates to, "Holy crap, what on earth is going on with her head." If her hair doesn't look all that great, either lie or don't mention it at all.

6. "Oh, man, look how much this bill is!"
This is a sure way to make a girl feel incredibly uncomfortable. It makes a girl feel guilty for eating a dinner that you invited her to in the first place! Any reference at all to the bill is incredibly bad taste. Before going on a date, plan it out so that you know what the price range will be; you don't want to be caught off guard and say something stupid when you realize it is far more expensive than you expected it to be!

5. "So, I guess it's that time of the month, huh."
This topic is off limits to all men. Don't bring hormones into an argument. Plus, if you are wrong, the girl will be doubly offended. This is a lose-lose situation.

4. "Would you relax? My ex never flipped out like this."
Whoa, stop right there. There are two unmentionables in this statement: relax and ex. Either of those alone would bring a reaction worse than the previously mentioned "mother bear wrath," but together? Stone cold silence. Never compare a girl to your ex. You are going to need more than chocolate to fix this one, my friends.

3. "You're being emotional."
Females are emotional creatures, and if you can't accept that, plan on spending the rest of your life alone. And if you bring it up all the time, plan on spending the rest of your life in hiding. Let girls be emotional when they need to be and don't criticize them about it. When you say that a girl is being emotional, you are implying that you are not being emotional, and therefore that you don't care. All of these things will turn a girl against you, and quickly.

2. "Do you really think you should be eating that?"
Really? No, really? You've got to be dumber than a rock if you bring up a girl's weight or eating habits in an underhanded question like that. It's people like you that foster anorexia and bulimia all over the world; if you asked me that question, I would bulimia all over you.

1. Nothing at all.
Use your grown-up words. Show that you care. And if you don't care, pretend that you care. Saying nothing is a bad move in any situation, and will result in dire consequences.

12 comments:

  1. I love this!! it's great! i actually had a guy ask me once if I was PMSing. NOT okay...EVER! also have experienced the guy who says nothing on your date and then he doesn't understand why i don't want to go on a second date. i mean come on!!

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  2. #12 automatically puts any guy on the creeper list. i don't care if you are jude law.

    #11 - SOOO annoying. how i feel about going on a date with you and if i actually WILL go on a date with you are two TOTALLY different things.

    haha this blog is great but i'm afraid i won't agree with half of it. oh well, at least its entertaining.

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  3. This is way better than that guys' blog about the girls. Right on the money MM!

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  4. Good try trying to make this blog funny but its not even close to the one about the girls.

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  5. this blog is pretty interesting. though i would have preferred one that didn't copy even the format of the why mormon girls stay single blog. we get that's this is a "rebuttal" or something to the other blog, but copying the whole right side of the page makes it look like you're trying too hard...

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  6. So... the best advice on apologies or winning the girl in your favor is finding out her favorite things. I personally don't like chocolate and don't like getting red roses. My whole family doesn't like chocolate really, and I've had BAD experiences with red roses. Lilies and my favorite candy bar are way more successful in the apology department.

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  7. I love it! Way to give it to them straight!

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  8. As lame as most of this stuff is, I can honestly say that whoever came up with these hasn't really dated that many guys. Man rebuttal incoming in 3...2...1....

    #12 - If you've ever heard this from a guy, it's your fault. You're attracted to douchebags. If you live in Provo (and I'm assuming you do, have, or will) then stop hanging out at the Belmont and going to parties for dates. This is the most basic form of Provo dating knowledge... you can't get upset about being bitten if you lurk in a bear cage because the view is better. I have yet to meet a man who talks to a girl that way. Just sayin'

    #11 - In all fairness, I would definitely agree with this being a bad thing to ever say to a girl. However, I can also safely say that there are a lot of girls who ask for it. If a guy lacks confidence around you, maybe it's because he thinks you're kind of cool but you're kind of a wench. Or maybe it's his misguided attempt at being a nice guy and not being overly confident or pretentious... So if you really feel like this is an issue.. back to Belmont. You'll find what you're looking for there (i.e. namely guys with pickup lines about you owing them kisses).

    #10 - Also a ridiculous question, but to be blunt, he's seeing if he wants to tangle with a mess of a girl... so if you're in that category, don't let this flatter you, it's not flattering.

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  9. #9 - Maybe I laugh at this one a lot. If a guy says this to you, he knows you're mad. Girls, in their endless efforts to try to be mysterious, will say one thing and mean the other. We all know it. It's not us trying to figure out if you're mad, it's us giving you another opportunity to be reasonable. Yeah, I don't know why we do it, it never ends up in our favor. We all learn, eventually, that girls use irrationality to win arguments where reason will not work for them. When we say things like that, we're conceding the quarrel because it will keep the peace... we just don't wanna deal with it. IF a guy is saying this to you, he's saying "crap, you're being crazy right now... you can tell me straight up why you're being this way but honestly I'm pretty well unconcerned with the craziness... talk to me when you wanna be reasonable".

    #8 - I'm willing to say that girls say this more than guys. If you hear this a lot, reevaluate just how much fun you have with the person you're with. I love my girlfriend and am pretty confident that when she says "I don't care, do whatever you want", it means she loves spending time with me either way. I feel exactly the same way about her... maybe your relationship is lacking?

    #7 - Correction... this roughly translates to "oh crap I know she was thinking of doing something with her hair... was that today? I better notice". Some girls get mad if they clean up their split ends and you don't notice. Really, honestly... I'm not kidding. I've dated many Mormon girls and this is a frequent point of failure for me. My friends alike.

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  10. #6 - Men should never, ever, ever, say that. That is totally anti-gentleman. If you're going out then suck it up and be a man. If you're broke, plan something affordable and handle it gracefully. I agree with you here.

    #5 - Also, man should never, ever, ever, ever say that. However let it be a sign that you're on the crazy. If you're dating a guy seriously, subtly indicate that you are feeling biologically a bit unwell and that way he can know what it's like when you are that way and learn to be more sensitive. None of this expecting a guy to understand or notice things he doesn't know anything about. That only happens in movies with movie stars.. and most of those people get divorced.

    #4 - Bringing up exes is bad too, but telling a girl to relax... I guess call me when girls stop doing that to guys. Are we supposed to be okay with it because we're men. Girls say that kind of stuff a LOT. fair and equal I say. This one is pointless because it's not gender specific.

    #3 - Girls are emotional. I have 4 sisters. If a guy says this, he's not merely indicating that you're being emotional, he's trying to speak a concern to you. If you let this get you upset, then you're being emotional about being emotional. If this comment is making you emotional, then just take a step back and realize why we say these things.

    Also, I have a request. I've always thought that "being emotional" is an unfair argument purely based on gender qualities. Somehow girls have this thing and it's supposed to always win the argument? My solution? I submit that if it's "okay" for a girl to sometimes be crazy because she's "emotional", then it should be "okay" for guys to sometimes be jerks because we "don't really care". Honestly... it's just the way we're made. Sometimes girls are just goin to have to concede that...

    If you feel like it's insensitive that guys feel that way and it's a character flaw.. then look inwardly at the fact that being emotional can be, quite possibly, a big character flaw in many many situations. Come to me then, and we'll talk.

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  11. #2 - Yikes man, also something a man should never, ever say. Kick said man directly in the balls or crush his xbox. All people have weaknesses. Even if a girl is overweight, it doesn't matter. Both girls and guys at BYU are guilty of assuming that people are going to be perfect. Guess what, weight, baldness, wrinkles, farting in bed, post-pregnancy body changes, etc etc... it's all coming people. Make sure your relationships are free of douchebags that make a scene about what you eat.

    #1 - I disagree... saying nothing has saved me more times than not in relationships. There's wisdom in holding your tongue. There's temperance in thinking before you speak. There's romance in silence that let's your actions do the talking. If you find yourself always talking to solve a problem or communicate how you feel.. maybe the issue isn't about guys misunderstanding girls... maybe girls aren't trying to understand guys.

    If that's the case, then you should look inwardly about posting over-generalized scathing assumptions about guys. The more you respect men, the more they'll respect you. It works that way for us too. If you feel like you're not getting the treatment you want, try modifying you're behavior first and you'll be surprised at how far a guy will go to make your world perfect.

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