Because guyz make mistakes, too.


Mistake #1: Re-living the Mish

Missions are great things; so are missionaries. But unfortunately, missions end after 2 years. Although it is important for males to utilize the social status of being a returned missionary and increase their future spouse potential (FSP), there are three common mistakes made when RM's re-live the glory days. These errors can be detrimental to your FSP by boring and scaring away females. By avoiding these blunders, you can more easily escape the stereotype of "weird RM," thereby avoiding the "creeper list." (All girls have one.)

First mistake, filling date conversations with nothing but, "Back on the mish*..." Don't get us wrong, we love to hear about your mission and we are so impressed that you decided to serve the Lord for two years, but we can only say, "Wow, that is so interesting," so many times. We know it was the best two years of your life--we watched the movie! But we would like to feel that that you are happy to be here with us at Applebees, and not daydreaming of eating rice on the floor in some rural Japanese village. There is more to life than the good memories you made with your "comp." If you love him so much, take him to dinner!

Second mistake, confusing foreign customs with American customs. In the various countries around the world, there are indeed other customs; most of us have taken Anthropology 101. But it's not always polite or proper to bring those customs back to the U.S. as habits. For example, gaucho suit pants are only acceptable in such places as the Philippines (as is wearing flip flops to church). Burping after meals is commonly accepted in Tonga, and not at our dinner table (and a little chuckle and explanation of how it's polite to burp after a meal where you served your mission does not make it okay, either.) Taking off your shoes while indoors may be respectful in some parts of the world, but when you are in the middle of Book of Mormon class, it does not show respect to anyone around you to kick off your Rockports; it just smells and makes people feel uncomfortable.

And third mistake, thinking it is awesome to write, speak, and bear your testimony in a foreign language months and months after you have returned from your mission. It is incredibly impressive that you are bilingual, it's more than I can say for myself. But we do not understand you. We don't. We like to hear the crazy sounds coming out of your mouth for a while, but there comes a point when we would like to get something out of the precious time spent listening to you speak. So don't continue to pray in Tagalog or whisper sweet nothings to us in Albanian during sacrament meeting over and over.

So, try and avoid these faux pas at all costs if you want a date this Friday night. Or go ahead and use them freely as a Get Out of a Relationship Free card.

*It is NOT okay to shorten mission to mish; it sounds like you are saying "miss" with a speech impediment.


  1. Oh Molly Mormon! How I LOVE that you started this, as I have been stock piling ideas since I first found your not so nice, BITTER counterpart.
    Thank you for finding me, and giving me this link- you made my day!

    ♥ your first follower

  2. Single girl linked to you guys, and I couldn’t help but stop by. This was funny.

    Also you should never wear a kilt or lava lava to church unless you are actually Irish or Polynesian. Even then it’s debatable.

  3. It's a nice effort, but you're just not quite there yet. I'll follow a while and see if you can make something of this.


  4. I almost passed up the opportunity to view this blog, because there is nothing that peeves me more than the (not clever) use of a z for an s. I overlooked it out of intrigue. I'm crossing my fingers. Don't fail me.

  5. I like the other blog better as of now. its funny. ha molly mormon you have some work to do to get up to EQP and CSL they are clever. I will read for a while.

  6. Yeah I hate it when guys in church are like, "And now I would like to bear my testimony to you in Bulgarian" or whatever. Or if they're asked to pray (or volunteer to pray) and pray in Japanese or whatever. Hello, this is the tweny-first century. Being able to speak a language other than English is not that impressive anymore. Most people in the world speak more than one language. And no one can understand what you are saying, so why say it that way?

    Oh and another pet peeve of mine is when guys, in an effort to impress people, will be in the middle of a sentence and then be like, "Oh, I forgot the English word for that since I've been saying it in Spanish for the last two years." I'm sorry, but no. Speaking brokenly in one language for two years does not cause you to forget the language that you first learned to speak with and have been speaking fluently for twenty years.

  7. nice try, BUT the fact that Peter P started his first you just look like a copy cat.
    He seems to have way more experience and to know most of the concentrated Mormon areas while you seem to be only looking through the Provo window.
    The authors of the other blog also have much better writing skills and far more clever ideas.

    Maybe quit now and leave the blogging to the professionals...

  8. Better than CSL. New York Times is funnier than her

  9. Aubrey, how can she improve if she doesn't continue to practice? Keep it going MM, you're doing fine.

  10. Hey Aubrey,
    Maybe you should shut the freak up. You obviously don't have much of a brain... It's supposed to be a copycat. Plus, no one is forcing you to read this, so if you don't like it, just go read your Peter P and don't come back to this blog.

  11. Yeah, please everyone refrain from the comments like you were some American Idol judge, like blogging is only meant for professionals. Let her do her thing and read it if you like, and don't read it if you don't. The rest of us don't really care. Blogs are free, and you're not deciding whether or not you're buying a car. Only post if you have a relevant comment.

  12. Tell us more stuff that works as a "Get out of relationship free card", thanks!

  13. Your blog kicks the competition's behind. Thank you. You have the formula right. You point out actual problems for normal guys, and you don't do it in a highly offensive and crude way like the guys do on the other blog. A guy that reads this will get real pointers that actually help him on the dating scene. The PP guys just have an outlet for insulting women with inaccurate stereotypes and misogynist insults.

    They're not clever, they're just rude arrogant jerks who think they're funny. Some of us have a bit more sophisticated humor than the comedy channel. Those guys aren't even at the same level as you to be called competition.

    Thank you ladies. Way to represent.


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